Serious Style - Kabuki at Bella Terra

The new Bella Terra Mall in Huntington Beach is shaping up nicely when it comes to Toilets. Today we will discuss the points scored for style by Kabuki, a Japanese food/Sushi Bar.

First let's begin with the walls. Highly polished Marble. Are you kidding me? It may be a replication but it's ultimate in luxury. Of course, sparing no effort they followed up with a mural of a Kabuki face crafted from hand-broken tiles. This is only noticed after you open the door to be wowed at the sink. It's like one of those damn (read as stupid) Kohler commercials. There is a large mirror with two pipes jutting directly out of the wall. Each pipe is about 1/2" inch and bent slightly down at the ends. This pipe pours water out into a glass bowl mounted on the counter, (also some sort of stone).

Unfortunately, they stopped at that point. The toilets are surrounded by typical metal stall-walls, the paper towel dispenser is one of those large stainless-steel wall units with the trash can built in below the dispenser. So let me ask this simple question.

Why? Why? Why? Go from "classy as hell" to "couldn't be bothered" so quickly? I mean come on, this place is begging for a glass walled toilet stall! Or anything.

Score: 8.0 flushes. It could have been so much more, but it was clean, creative and well-maintained.

The Toilet Paper Effect

Let's take a moment here to review what we're looking for. Essentially we want a bathroom that feels cared for, thoughtful , and clean.

Which part of supplying 22,000 feet of toilet paper in two large rolls, wrapped in an airplane fuselage, leads to any of these feelings. The feeling I'm left with when I see this dispenser in a stall is an owner who wants to avoid going in the restroom for at least a month, maybe more.

These dispensers also seem to be filled with that cardboard feeling toilet paper that gives you an appreciation of past cultures that used their hands. At least they could moisturize to keep their skin silky soft. Ok, maybe not.

The point is, this may be the most critical decision in a restroom. Apart from a lock on the door of a one holer with a view (if you know what I mean), the toilet paper decision makes the greatest impact on me. Many toilet papers provided by commercial vendors have a way of reminding you that paper is made from wood, even if toilet paper isn't.

The perfect situation is a normal roll of two-play toilet paper, with a back up provided either in the dispenser or more impressively, extra rolls in an appropriate decor item like a basket on the floor. This shows a comfortable, home-like atmosphere and leads me to believe the restroom might actually see an employee more than once a day.

So restroom owners take heed and show some care when you spare a square.

It's a Grind Coffee House - Cypress, CA

Well, we've found a winner. As discussed earlier, I enjoy the It's a Grind Coffee House chain. Unlike earlier, this location gets the idea of showing customer's a respectful bathroom.

The bathroom here is well decorated in muted colors and with real wood that is stained and used for things like the frame to the mirror. There is an automated paper towel dispenser which I'm not too keen on, but I am given a choice by the well-chosen whicker basket of towels set upon the top. There is a soap dispenser hung on the wall and kept in good repair, as well as knick-knack coffee decor hung on the walls. In this case they are large metal cups of cappaccino and mocha. The bathroom is exceptionally clean as well. My only real complaint is the plastic holder with the toilet brush in it on the floor.

I highly recommend a visit to this bathroom.

Score: 8.5 flushes

Springdale Grille - Huntington Beach

Well, there’s a lot to write about with this place. It’s filled with an odd collection of people that have probably been eating here for 10 years, conducting business deals to purchase a new plumbing truck for their 2 truck empire, discussing the best way to keep Marge from winning the neighborhood “Best Yard Design based on Plastic Flamingoes or Gnomes” award, or they’ve just been looking for the exit in this windowless restaurant. The Grill provides sub-quality "steak and potatoes" fair, with strong drinks from the bar that 1978 forgot, and the staff includes one waiter (he’s super, thank you), a hostess, and one busser. Now when I say one, I mean that having been here 6 or 7 times, I have never seen a different waiter, busser, or hostess in this place and it’s not small. Yet somehow the service is good. Well by 1978 standards. The Springdale grill also has a restroom.

As you enter the restroom you open a door into an entry room, as some restrooms have. This is a nice feature as it provides an “airlock” for views into the toilet. The interesting feature for the Springdale Grill’s entryroom is the size. I think the door may just meet the width requirements for a door installed in 1991 (the opening year of the grille), which is probably in the 30” range. The room is certainly the same size. 30” by 30”. With a door on the next wall.

Once the airlock has been breached you enter a small, confusing restroom. The restroom is well cared for, except the soap but I'll get back to that, clean and decorated with a collection of "painted" photos of James Dean and Marilyn Monroe. These are in the traditional black frame screwed into the wall by four large black screws that you see in finer restaurants everywhere. This is where the fine decor ends. There are three types of walls in this small restroom. It's as if the room was smashed together in a Terry Gilliam scene where three restroom dimensions collided. One wall is wallpapered in a lovely yellow, one wall is a faux-tile vinyl wall with white and grey "tiles", and then there's some off-white walls. The odd thing about the vinyl wall is that it's actually only half a wall.

Okay, it's time for the soap dispenser rant. why must there be so many restrooms on this earth with a soap dispenser hanging over a counter with a perpetual puddle of crusty soap forming into a stalagmite beneath them. Many restrooms hang the soap dispenser over the trash can or have it near the sink where this won't happen. I realize it's silly of me, but this pile of goo (horrible when it's a white soft soap) really turns me off the whole soap experience. I may possibly be a bit picky, or maybe you know what I mean. Maybe you too have accidentally put your hand into this goo because you weren't looking. Okay, I am now stepping off my soapbox.

Score: 4.5 Flushes for cleanliness, an attempt at decor, and of course points off for soap issues.

Starbucks Coffee - Stanton

I should first tell you that I used to work for Starbucks. Now, let’s discuss the restroom.

The restroom at this location is a mess. It’s dirty, and uncared for. A more pressing issue is that it is a Starbucks restroom. You see, Starbucks has amazed me with it’s product quality, it’s attention and devotion to training employees on more than just the preparation of the products, but the history of the products and the “why’s” of the recipes. The restrooms are a different story.

The design is generally uninspired. It’s pretty much a toilet, a sink with ugly molded rubber coverings on pipes, and the most poorly designed toilet paper dispenser ever conceived on planet earth. Oh yeah, there’s a paper towel dispenser, and a soap dispenser. Notice I never mentioned any actual soap or paper towels.

This location is a perfect example. The toilet paper dispenser seems designed to save the environment, providing one square at a time before tearing the paper against your best wishes. This produces two problems. First, it pisses off their customers. Second, it clutters the restroom with little squares of toilet paper dropped by customers who were too pissed off to bother disposing of them.

I don’t know if this leads to employees who don’t care and therefore avoid cleaning the restroom or not, but I can tell you that the employees at this location provide great, caring service at the counter, and provide well-crafted beverages. I have rarely seen any of them have the free time, or inclination needed to leave the counter to clean the restroom.

Maybe they don’t want to be in the restroom as badly as I don’t want to be in their restroom.

Score: 3 flushes for lack of effort in design, cleaning, and of course, that damn toilet paper dispenser.